Update 4/15/13
Putting this here so I can keep track of what I have to see this summer. It’s like six months of Christmas where all the gifts are the best movies ever.
The Cabin in the Woods Excellent! So much fun I don’t know what to do with myself.
The Raven John Cusack. This is a maybe for the theater. I may have to pace myself since it comes out at the same time as… –Watched on video. It was pretty awful, John Cusack notwithstanding. Don’t bother.
Safe wherein Jason Statham beats people up. A lot. With his fists. And guns. And trains. And shot glasses. <shiver> Everything I hoped it would be. It met my expectations perfectly. Thin story, great fight scenes, decent villain “justice.” It did what it set out to do, and it wasn’t diminished for having seen it the day after seeing The Avengers. Good stuff.
The Avengers Uh…yeah. FANTASTIC! One of the best superhero movies I’ve seen. Great ensemble, great characters, great effects. I laughed a lot. That’s a good thing.
Battleship I may have to see this just because it’s such an awful, awful premise for what promises to be an awful, awful movie. I can respect that.
Men in Black III Because Will Smith. I never saw this, and now I may just wait for it come out on Netflix or something. I heard it was good, though. –Watched it. Meh.
Snow White and the Huntsman Chris Hemsworth! Possibly shirtless again! And Charlize Theron! Um…yes. I’ll have two helpings of that, please. I really wanted to like this movie. I love Chris Hemsworth, and I honestly wanted Kristen Stewart to rise above the listless, empty, passive role in Twilight. I’m not sure if she was let down by the script (which was not good at all) or if she’s just not capable of being anyone but Kristen Stewart. What a waste of a fine cast this movie was. Sigh.
Piranha 3DD “Double The Action. Double The Terror. Double The D’s.” I would have also accepted, “What is Piranhas at a Water Park?” Dude, seriously: Christopher Lloyd, Ving Rhames, and David Hasselhoff. This movie is deep-fried awesome sprinkled with powdered sugar. Still haven’t seen this but I want to.
Prometheus Ridley Scott returning to the world of Alien? Yes, please. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie even if it didn’t really make much sense, either in terms of its own logic or the logic of the universe which it inhabits. It was gorgeous to watch, and there were moments of tension/terror that had me pushing away from the screen, as if doing so would do any good.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter There is no way I can’t see this movie.
Brave Pixar. That is all. –Thoroughly enjoyable. Not Pixar’s best but still better than Cars.
G.I. Joe: Retaliation C wants to see this, and I’ll watch it for the ninjas. I’m easy. Pushed back a year because it sucked so bad. That’s not the reason they gave, but I’m pretty sure that’s real reason. I mean, no one would delay a movie to add *more* Channing Tatum, right? –This was finally released, and C and I went to see it. It was a lot of fun. Channing Tatum died early, and the Rock made the rest of the movie great. Also Bruce Willis played Bruce Willis, which is always fun.
The Amazing Spider-Man Is it too soon for a reboot? Maybe, but this Peter Parker has a huge frickin’ head (for real — anatomically speaking; have you seen it? They’re showing it in two theaters and knocking out the wall between them to fit his head in the frame.) and that’s enough for me. –C really liked this. I…didn’t have an opinion either way. If I’d paid real money, I might have regretted the expenditure, but the only thing it cost me was time, and given how much time I’ve thrown away playing Solitaire, I can hardly fault this movie for being a waste of time.
The Dark Knight Rises No question. –Fantastic. It was no Dark Knight, nor was it an Avengers. But it was really good for what it was, and I think Nolan was freakin’ brave to end it the way he did. A happy ending for Bruce Wayne? That’s balls of steel right there.
Total Recall Not a huge Colin Farrell fan, but the trailer pressed many buttons, so…yeah. This is happening. –Lots of fun. Nothing like the original which was nothing like the book which, given that it was PKD, was probably for the best.
The Bourne Legacy omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg –Wooo! Thoroughly enjoyed this. Jeremy Renner is excellent. I wish they’d bring The Unusuals back.
The Expendables 2 OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG –Arnold, Bruce, Sly, Dolph, Jean-Claude, and Chuck in the same movie. Think about that for a moment. It doesn’t matter how terrible the movie was (and it was objectively terrible in many ways), it was also objectively awesome and will stand as a triumph of Stalloneian film-making. Take that how you will.
I need a sock.
Resident Evil: Retribution Mila Jovovich, killing zombies while wearing improbable outfits and generally being the baddest ass out there. I will watch these movies even when she kills zombies with her ninja-walker and SafeAlert beacon. –They are seriously just throwing darts at a wall just to keep this franchise going. There isn’t even anything on the wall for the darts to stick in. They’re just throwing darts and making shit up based on how little sense it all makes. I love it.
Dredd Karl Urban reprises the role made famous by Sly Stallone. I’m okay with that, especially if Rob Schneider isn’t involved (or dies horribly in the beginning). –A much better movie than Sly’s. Beautifully shot, too. But so brutally violent I found myself looking away from the screen. This is unusual.
Skyfall Wooooooooooooohooooooooooooooo! Daniel Craig as Bond! He’s back, baby! – I don’t care what anyone says, this is the most beautiful Bond film ever made, and Daniel Craig is a better Bond than Sean Connery.
One Shot Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher. Tom earned a whole lotta cred with me in MI4, so I’ll see this just because. Also, I’m becoming a fan of the Jack Reacher series. – Still haven’t seen this one, so I’ll wait for it to show up on Netflix. I intend to see Oblivion in the theater, though, so that balances something somehow.